Couples Therapy in Princeton, NJ
Understanding patterns & strengthening connection
Our closest relationships can be important sources of connection and support. When something feels wrong in one of them, though, it can affect nearly every other part of life.
Couples often seek therapy not because they have stopped caring about each other, but because they are caught in patterns they don't know how to change. Couples therapy (sometimes called relationship counseling or marriage counseling) provides a structured space to slow these interactions down, understand what is happening beneath them, and begin responding to each other differently.
When can couples therapy help?
Couples seek therapy at many different points in a relationship and for many different reasons. Some come because their relationship feels increasingly strained and they are not sure whether they should stay together. But you don't need to be in a crisis or considering separation to benefit from couples therapy. Many couples whose relationships are generally strong want help navigating a transition, addressing a recurring issue, or strengthening their connection before difficulties become more entrenched.
Couples therapy can help with:
Recurring arguments or difficulty resolving conflict
Communication that frequently leads to defensiveness, criticism, or withdrawal
Emotional distance or a loss of closeness
Concerns about trust, honesty, or fidelity
Differences involving sex, intimacy, money, parenting, or extended family
The decision to commit, marry, or live together
Fertility challenges, pregnancy loss, pregnancy, or the transition to parenthood
Stress related to work, caregiving, illness, grief, or other major life changes
Questions about the future of the relationship
The wish to understand each other more fully and build a stronger relationship
Sometimes the problem is clear. At other times, partners know only that they feel disconnected, lonely, resentful, or unable to connect in ways they have in the past. You don't need to understand exactly what is wrong before beginning therapy. If you're not sure, the first phase of therapy can focus on helping you identify the challenges in your relationship and develop a plan for addressing them.
Our approach to couples therapy
We begin by developing a fuller understanding of your relationship: what brings you to therapy now, how each person understands the difficulties, the history of the relationship, and the patterns that tend to emerge between you. We also want to understand what is working—how you have stayed connected, supported one another, or managed difficulties successfully in the past. This initial assessment helps us establish goals and determine what will be most useful in therapy.
Partners often have different perspectives on what is wrong or why a problem developed. You do not need to agree on a single version of the problem before beginning. Our goal is not to determine who is “right” or “wrong” or to assign blame, but to help you understand what happens between you and how each person’s responses interact to keep the pattern going.
Often, each person’s reaction makes sense when viewed on its own. One partner may pursue a conversation because they are worried about losing connection, while the other withdraws because they feel criticized or overwhelmed. Together, however, these understandable reactions can create a cycle that leaves both people feeling increasingly frustrated and alone. Therapy can help make that cycle visible and create room for each person to respond differently.
Our clinicians draw from research-supported approaches, including Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) and Gottman Method Couples Therapy. EFT helps partners identify and change the emotional cycles that leave them feeling disconnected, communicate underlying feelings and needs more clearly, and develop a more secure and responsive bond. The Gottman Method offers a structured way of understanding a relationship’s strengths and challenges, along with practical strategies for communicating more effectively, navigating conflict, and strengthening friendship, intimacy, and shared meaning. We draw from these approaches flexibly, based on the needs and goals of each relationship.
Depending on your needs, therapy may involve:
Identifying the cycle that keeps conflict or distance going
Helping each person communicate in ways the other can more readily hear
Recognizing the feelings and needs that may be hidden beneath anger, criticism, defensiveness, or withdrawal
Understanding how earlier relationships and experiences shape present reactions
Building on the strengths and positive patterns that already exist in your relationship
Developing more constructive ways to manage disagreement and repair after conflict
Rebuilding emotional or physical intimacy
Repairing trust after a rupture
Making concrete changes outside of sessions
We pay attention both to the immediate challenges that brought you to therapy and to the deeper patterns underlying them. The goal is not simply to argue less, but to help you develop a relationship in which both people feel more understood, more connected, and better able to address difficulties together.
Will the therapist take sides?
We believe the role of a couples therapist is to understand your relationship as a whole and help each of you make changes in behavior and communication that move you closer to your relationship goals.
At times, this may mean challenging one or both of you, identifying behavior that keeps a problematic pattern going, or suggesting that one or both of you do something differently. We approach these conversations with care and respect for each person’s experience. The ways people respond in relationships often have understandable roots in their personal histories and in what has happened between them over time. Recognizing a pattern is one thing; changing it, especially in emotionally charged moments, can be difficult. Therapy offers a place to practice responding differently and begin bringing those changes into daily life.
What if one of us is unsure about therapy?
It is common for partners to begin couples therapy with different levels of enthusiasm, hope, or confidence in the process. One person may have suggested therapy while the other has agreed reluctantly. You do not need to arrive with identical goals or equal certainty.
Early sessions can help clarify what each person wants, what each is concerned about, and whether therapy can offer a useful way forward. A willingness to participate honestly is more important than feeling completely convinced at the outset.
Couples therapy for different kinds of relationships
Although the term “couples therapy” most often refers to romantic partners, we work with people at many different relationship stages, including those who are dating, cohabitating, engaged, married, becoming parents, or considering separation. We welcome partners of all genders and sexual orientations.
We also offer relationship-focused therapy for other pairs who want to improve an important relationship, including:
Adult siblings or other family members
Close friends
Business partners or collaborators
The concerns and goals may differ, but the central work is often similar: understanding the relationship’s patterns, communicating more effectively, navigating conflict, and finding a more constructive way of relating.
What to expect
Couples therapy is active and collaborative. Sessions may involve slowing down a recent interaction, helping each person put words to their experience, practicing different ways of communicating, or identifying changes to try outside of therapy. Your therapist will help you connect what happens during sessions to the patterns that arise in your daily lives.
Couples therapy sessions are generally 45–60 minutes and are typically held weekly. Therapy may be short-term and focused on a particular concern or continue for a longer period when the difficulties are more complex or longstanding.
We provide in-person couples therapy at our office in Princeton, New Jersey. Virtual couples therapy is also available for couples located in New Jersey or New York.
Beginning couples therapy
Reaching out does not require you to have decided what is wrong, what needs to change, or what the future of your relationship should be. Those are questions therapy can help you explore.
Whether you're facing a specific difficulty, finding yourselves in the same painful interaction again and again, or hoping to feel more connected, we're happy to talk with you about whether our approach might be a good fit.
Contact us to schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation.
Our couples therapists
Several members of our team offer couples therapy, and each therapist brings a different perspective to the work. During your initial consultation, we can help you determine which therapist may be the best fit for your concerns and goals.
Melissa Greenberg, PsyD
Dr. Greenberg uses an integrative approach that draws from psychodynamic, emotion-focused, and cognitive-behavioral perspectives. She has completed Level 1 Training in Gottman Method Couples Therapy and is a Gottman Bringing Baby Home educator. This research-based training focuses specifically on helping couples maintain connection, manage conflict, and navigate the relationship changes that can accompany pregnancy, postpartum, and early parenthood.
Nirav Soni, PhD
Dr. Soni is a clinical psychologist and psychoanalyst who brings an insight-oriented perspective to couples therapy, helping partners understand recurring relationship patterns and relate to one another more openly and authentically.
Lauren Uyeji, LPC
Lauren has completed Level 1 Training in Gottman Method Couples Therapy and draws on the Gottman framework and interventions in her work with couples.
Reduced-Fee Couples Therapy
We also have current availability for reduced-fee couples therapy with a postdoctoral fellow practicing under the supervision of Melissa Greenberg, PsyD. Please contact us if you would like to learn more about this option.